One apparent mutual property among elders was a deep spirituality that influenced every aspect of their lives and teachings. It was palpable that these elders lived according to deeply instilled principles, values, and teachings. Principles, values, and teachings that were timeless and foundational, connecting them to a higher power.

Living consistent with these principles, values, and teachings became my challenge. My progress notes reported two steps forward, one step back, and sometimes three steps back. But the older I got, the easier it became to think and act according to these principles, values, and teachings.

So, I began to practice these principles, adopt their core values, and follow their teachings. It didn’t improve my balance sheet; assets decreased in value, liabilities increased, owner equity shrunk, and previous relationships disappeared. But from an ROI perspective, I considered the loss of revenue and now extinct relationships as investments in something else—the quality of my life.

Living with and inside these principles, values, and lessons dramatically improved the character and conditions of my life and the lives of others around me. Continuous “acquiring” didn’t give me the anticipated freedom or deliver on its promise of serenity. My investment in becoming an elder was paying off. Strong returns in well-being with an increased sense of liberty became present.

Until my early sixties, my game was to continue to climb that ladder of success so clearly defined in our Western culture – title, prestige, recognition, money, bragging rights, and possessions. But the higher the rungs on the success ladder, the greater the pull for more, bigger, or better of the same things I already had. But I dutifully continued climbing this success ladder.

But as I neared the top of this success ladder, it suddenly became readily apparent my ladder was up against the wrong building.

Now, moving a heavy past-based, ego-centric ladder wasn’t easy. The ladder weighed a ton. That took time. But I finally moved the ladder around the block to the Elder Building, and after twenty focused years, I’m finally on its rooftop.

The view from here is not Shangri-La; just the opposite, it’s raw reality. But who is looking at reality is what has been so dramatically transformed. From older eyes to elder eyes. As Marcel Proust stated, "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”

Who I am as an elder amid our chronically inflamed reality would not have been possible at the top of the other building. On the rooftop of the other building, I would have been the same person, just grasping for more, better, and different of the same, again hoping this would give me freedom.

My intuition had been whispering to follow the path of the elder’s higher wisdom. Finally, the whisper turned into a roar until I finally heard it. The elder’s higher wisdom was not the wisdom for business, financial, social, or political success. Higher wisdom was another kind of wisdom that was signaling.

To access this higher wisdom, led me to participate with elders of Indigenous tribes in Mexico, British Columbia, New Mexico, and Arizona. I also attended programs, pilgrimages, sittings, and ceremonies with shamans, gurus, rabbis, poets, philosophers, and roshis. Being an elder was becoming not only knowledge-based but now anchored experience-based.

I witnessed the elder’s higher wisdom on the court. I watched how elders relate to life – their own and others. I listened closely to how they spoke and, more importantly, how they were heard. Being with elders was the most direct access to what I was seeking.

Higher wisdom was I found a profound and elevated level of understanding and firsthand knowledge. It provides a perspective that goes beyond conventional wisdom and is characterized by deeper insights into the nature of existence, consciousness, and the universe.

I witnessed that in non-Western traditional cultures, these elders were appreciatively regarded. They had earned the deep respect of their community through wisdom, harmony, and balance in their being and actions. There was a place of honor for them at the table. They were highly embraced with reverence and admiration.

But I also recognized I existed in a non-traditional Western culture that didn’t reserve a seat at the table for elders. They wouldn’t even let elders in the door. The entrance was blocked by two huge bouncers – ageism and individualism, who jammed the doorway.

The question that immediately surfaced on my climbing this elder ladder was, how do I design myself as an elder for this time, this place, and this cultural reality with its aversion to growing old and its deepening fear, anxiety, distrust, and hate? How do I be an authentic elder in this ecology?

I could clearly see the possibility of taking an elder's incredible power and grace and introducing it into our individualistic, self-centered world and how it would change things, how it would change people, their thoughts, and their relationships. Conversations and decisions would be much better, serving the greater good and having people get along. And I could see the remarkable gift of being an elder for late aging rather than just getting old.

Unlike the rooftop at the Western Culture Building, which was crowded with discontented people, the rooftop of the elder building was not nearly as crowded, where peace, joy, and serenity were plentiful. But for me and all my fellow elders on the roof, the biggest ROI was the higher wisdom attained on those last rungs of the ladder.

BEING AN ELDER

At the time of this writing, I am 79. I have been blessed to live this long in good health. Without many cultural and financial distractions, I have intentionally advanced my learning, experience, and expression as an elder.

Higher wisdom has arrived intellectually, spiritually, and experientially. I see more. I understand more. I feel more. I appreciate more. I know less and love more. It seems my health and relationships prosper in this elder ecosystem.

My experience of being an elder is both life-uplifting and, at the same time, heartbreaking. As an elder, the wisdom of the ages has become far more accessible and penetrating. Faith has moved from concept to actuality. But then there is another side to this coin: the suffering in the world is far more deeply felt.

The heartbreak comes from seeing the many unattended fault lines and craters that I can't help but notice as an elder. The hate, heartlessness, greed, righteousness, suffering, and anger cannot be sidestepped.

As an elder, I cannot deny all that is painfully apparent in today’s world. But here is what makes the difference for me: a contemporary elder makes commitments and takes action to heal rather than capitulate.

Commitment shows up in two places: your calendar and your checkbook. One look at my schedule and chart of accounts will validate my commitment to being a contemporary elder in this world to relieve the suffering caused by living in the illusion that this culture precipitates.

The Elder Essays is one expression of this commitment. This book's writing helped me fulfill Gandhi’s challenge, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

  You can’t change the world until you change yourself. As an elder, I have learned and continue to unlearn how to unchain myself from all I have been to who I can be.

  I chose the elder road, the road less traveled. And so “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

-      Rober Frost –The Atlantic Monthly (1915) Mountain Interval (1916).