Disconnection and Fragmentation

[A 6-minute read with a musical ending]

The Crisis We Don’t See, The Crisis We Deeply Feel, The Crisis Elders Can Fix

You and I live in a world that's more connected than ever, yet somehow, we're more disconnected than ever. Paradoxes are funny that way.

It's like we're all holding hands in a circle, but instead of actually feeling each other, we're texting from across the room.

I live in Northwest Portland, Oregon. When I walk down Savier or Raleigh Street, I notice people walking by themselves, engrossed in their phones. The same applies to airports, waiting rooms, elevators, and family dinners. People are staying inside themselves. Maybe that's where it feels safest?

This is the heart of the modern dilemma: disconnection and fragmentation. Given that the mission of an Elder is to "repair" the world, Elders need to facilitate connecting again.

Understanding the Crisis

Disconnection is the feeling that we're isolated, despite being surrounded by people. It's that nagging sense that you're on your own island, even though there's a whole archipelago around you.

"Disconnected" refers to a state of being detached or separated from something or someone. It can be applied in various contexts—social, emotional, and cognitive. In all cases, being disconnected means a lack of connection or coherence between parts that would normally be joined together.

Human beings survived because of their connections, and now that connectedness is under siege.

Here's how the spiral works: Disconnection leads to disharmony, which leads to acrimony. Disconnection leads to righteousness, which leads to bigotry. Disconnection leads to fear, which leads to protectionism. Disconnection interferes with coherence, so people aren't joined together.

We need to post large warning signs in very large font and bold colors: "Social Media Worsens Disconnection." You can get 1,000 likes on your post, but how many of those people would you really trust?

While we're more digitally connected than ever, we have become more emotionally and spiritually disconnected. This is the wrong direction for peace, equanimity, grace, gratitude, and personal freedom to occur.

The Fragmentation That Follows

Fragmentation is the result of that disconnection. It's like taking a puzzle, throwing the pieces into the air, and hoping they'll all land in the right place.

Look at our country. People are scattered, divided by ideologies, geography, belief systems, economics, and now by the overwhelming speed of change. Uncertainty, chaos, instability, confusion, and indecision now frame our lives. No place to stand. No place of comfort. No control. The foundations on which we stood are disappearing.

We don't just disagree; we've stopped even trying to understand each other. It's all part of the disintegration of core values, shared purpose, and common ground—like a tapestry that's unraveling thread by thread.

There is a constant churn of new information, faster than we can process it, leading to emotional and intellectual whiplash. It's coming from all sides, all at once, all screaming for your attention.

Our politicians promote this disconnection with its communal core value disintegration and loss of coherence. It allows them to "gin up" voters and get themselves reelected. For politicians, it means more votes and more money. Keeping people disconnected and fragmented pays off.

The Obvious Impact

Disconnection and fragmentation aren't just abstract concepts; they have a direct impact on our state of mind, physical health, and sense of community.

Take a moment to remember the last time you were essentially disconnected—fired, relationship broken apart, death of a loved one, or attending a party where you didn't know anyone. What did it feel like to be disconnected?

Now imagine being disconnected as a chronic condition. Anxiety, depression, and a sense of helplessness become your constant companions, shadowing every step, every thought, and draining your energy until even the simplest tasks feel like monumental challenges.

This mental strain isn't just psychological; it manifests physically too. Studies show that chronic loneliness increases stress, raises blood pressure, and impairs immune function. You get sicker faster, and it takes longer to recover.

They say frailty is the primary cause of death in the old. But emotional death happens sooner than the hip-breaking fall. When disconnected, feeling isolated, alone, useless, and unwanted takes a heavy toll.

The Elder Fix

But here's where the Elders come in. This is their territory.

Elders—the kind I'm talking about, Contemporary Elders—aren't just people who've lived a long time. They're the keepers of wisdom, the anchors in a world that feels like it's constantly being pushed toward the edge of the cliff.

Elders can heal the disconnect and repair the fragmentation, and they don't even need a Wi-Fi signal to do it.

How Elders Restore Connection

Elders bring a sense of stability, a knowing that the storm isn't forever, even when it feels like it. They know how to listen—really listen. Not just nodding along while thinking about their schedule, but truly hearing what is being said. This listening provides the kind of deep, human connection that we need in a world where conversations are reduced to a series of sound bites and memes.

Elders understand the art of slowing down. They don't rush through life, and that's a powerful thing. In a society obsessed with speed and hustle, Elders demonstrate that there's power in making better decisions by taking your time. Recognizing the themes, patterns, and causes in a complex situation takes time.

Elders embody the value of reflection. They engage in self-reflective questions about themselves and effectively ask these questions of others—questions that pierce the facades, the self-deception, and reveal our greater humanity. This generates the space and conditions required for reconnecting to occur.

Elders have lived through decades of change, and they understand that real growth happens not in the blur of the moment but in the quiet spaces between. Elders know how to create the quiet space "between."

How Elders Heal Fragmentation

Then there's the fragmentation. Elders are the glue. They've seen it all. They've witnessed political turmoil, social revolutions, and personal tragedies.

Elders possess the wisdom and perspective to remind us that we're not alone on this planet. They have weathered the storms, and they can help guide us through the fog. Elders offer a steadying hand, a transferable calming presence, and the voice that says, "This too shall pass."

But Elders will also confront you about your responsibility in the matter. If you want to change things, stop complaining about them. Complaints keep things fixed. Either change the situation or change yourself.

Ready to Play

Elders are ready to play. They're suited up. They have their last names sewn onto the back of their team jerseys. Elders are ready to take the field. You can feel their readiness when you go into their locker room, and this song is blasting:

"Put me in, coach, I'm ready to play today. Look at me, I can play center field."

Listen here

Your Inquiry: Where in your life are you disconnected, and why do you allow it to remain that way? What's the cost? What's the payoff?

ANNOUNCEMENT